Everything Ends.

You know when you're in a bad mood? And you know you're not being very nice to people, like your mom, but you still find yourself being short and snappy with them? And then you come in contact with someone else. So you think- well i'll be nice to this person...and then they're grouchy too? It just ruins everything and puts you in an even worse mood. I hate how everything is so effected by everything else...even though it shouldn't be, really. I know I create my own reality, whatever. I don't really care right now. 

     Y.O.U. is coming to an end for me, and it was such a strong support system for me over the past 2 years. It came in to my life when I needed it most. And it makes me so sad to think that maybe I'm outgrowing it a little bit...or maybe I'm just letting myself be too cranky. Who knows. I'm in one of those moods again. It's still sad for me to think that its the end of an era. Where I went to youth group every Sunday. It was the highlight of my week...and it's just not anymore. I'm sad to leave the people behind and what it used to be. But not sad to leave what it's become. This has really been bothering me for a while- so I think I should write about it. Ever since Lenore left I really felt like everything in our youth group went way down hill. I mean, yea we've grown tremendously, and we've become more active in the church. But I just really felt like a lot of the heart was gone. Part of that feeling probably had a large thing to do with the way she left. I have a really head time with situations when people are treated unfairly. And I was absolutely furious with our Minister for how this situation was handled. I just wish she could understand the magnitude of what she did. I know we have Richard now, and he is amaazzinng. He's done so much for us already...but I just can't connect with him the way I could with Lenore. Oh well, I guess it doesn't really matter for me now since I've graduated and everything. It just makes me so sad that there are only a few people left in YOU who even know who Lenore is and what she accomplished at Unity North. I guess I should just focus on the positive side for her and accept that it's happened and over.

Wow. This has definitely been a bit of a cranky post. I apologize. I think I'm just really ready to be at school already. But at the same time, I don't want the responsibilities that come along with it. Like, for example: I have to wake up at 5:45am so I can go to freaking Incept/Orientation. By myself. I hate doing things by myself I've noticed. And I've really taken for granted the fact that I almost always have Trey to do things with. I mean, the kid even came job hunting with me because I didn't want to go alone...

I also have to figure out how to get my transcript from App to State so they will have all my classes and everything will be in order. And I have to figure out how to get to and from work once I start school. And I have to pack. Before 7am Thursday morning. And figure out what I need to bring for the dorm to contribute. And make sure I'm in the right classes. OK, now I'm stressing myself out. This has become quite the rant. I'm done now. Good night.